Dealing with the Holiday Blues

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year …”

We’ve all heard this song beaming from a radio at some point. Maybe for you, this song brings up warm feelings of time with loved ones, cherished traditions, or beloved memories. Or, this song could be a trigger that makes you feel worse about the negative feelings you can’t seem to escape.

The Holiday Season is always a magnifier.

Holidays either amplify the good if life is stable or they amplify the pain from difficult situations.

What do we do when life doesn’t seem so wonderful while everyone else is gleefully singing, “it’s the most wonderful time of the year”? We acknowledge that pain and loss can feel heightened during the holiday season so here are 5 ideas to help you deal with the blue feelings you may be feeling.

Acknowledge The Loss

Any sort of sadness, grief or negative emotion often has a form of loss that our emotions are responding to. You may not like the emotions you’re feeling but they’re a part of you and trying to bury them usually makes life more difficult.

If you find yourself feeling down this season, take inventory of what you may have lost.

Grief and sadness can feel awkward and lead you to believe that something isn’t right with you. If this is something you feel, consider this idea:

“I’m feeling grief because something that was really good in my life has been lost. It is completely normal and expected for me to feel these emotions after what I’ve lost.”

Acknowledging the loss is a way of honoring how good something was in your life. Even though your family member, friend, job, or other life circumstance may not be present with you, no one can take away the good experience it brought into your life.

Honor Your Limitations

“All pain triggers a reminder, deeper than thought, buzzing through blood and bone, that we are fragile and finite. Suffering whispers, shouts, and screams the story no one wants to remember: we are not in control.” - K.J. Ramsey

Maybe you’ve spent much of your life believing that you are invincible.

You’re not alone. Much of American culture convinces us to think we are invincible. The problem is that no one is invincible. Whatever pain you’ve experienced has inevitably created tension with the idea of being limitless.

When you honor your limitations and don’t try to push past them at all costs you create an environment where healing can happen, and you can confidently be yourself.

Honoring your limits starts with spending some time defining what your limits are. Here are a few questions to help identify your limits:

• What situations make me feel like I can’t be myself?
• What are the biggest drains of my limited energy?
• Where do I feel most distracted?
• What are the 2-3 non-negotiable activities that bring me life?

Once you’ve identified your limits, the next step to honoring your limits is saying …“NO.”

No is a small word that is hard to say, but we can’t honor our limits without it.  If you need help with language around how to say “no” in difficult conversations. CLICK HERE for our blog with more suggested phrases.

You are worth honoring your limitations so don’t be afraid to say no!

The 1st Christmas was Messy

Everything can have the perception of perfection around Christmas time, but the 1st Christmas was anything but perfect. An unmarried couple was forced to travel an extreme journey and didn’t have any proper accommodations to live in, yet alone birth a baby.

In this sort of mess was how God choose to enter the world as a human.

Don’t get distracted by all the glitz and glamor of everything seeming perfect.  If the 1st Christmas teaches us anything, it is that God is always willing to meet us in the mess.

God knows firsthand what it was like to experience pain and loss like we experience.

If you’re experiencing negative emotions around the holidays, consider that Jesus likely experienced all of the same emotions you’re feeling.

Pastor Tim Harlow from Parkview Christian Church preached a sermon on “Blue Christmas” that goes deeper into how we can get comfort from the fact that the first Christmas was so messy.

CLICK HERE to listen on Spotify | CLICK HERE to listen on Apple Podcast

Talk with a Mental Health Professional

Life is filled with challenges and it often can feel overwhelming to know where to start when negative emotions feel insurmountable.

A Mental Health Professional is specifically trained to help be your guide to navigate all the ups and downs in your journey.  Therapists will help hold your pain in a way that can provide you with other perspectives to unlock the growth you desire.

No journey toward greater levels of mental health is ever linear. Having increased negative feelings can be an indicator that it would be helpful to talk with a professional who can give you some clarity on what you’re feeling and why.

You don’t have it navigate all your negative thoughts and feelings alone. CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment with one of our counselors at Platt Professional Counseling today.

Start a New Tradition

Change is inevitable in life. We don’t always like to hear this because familiarity provides a sense of security that is important.

You might find that your beloved traditions that once provided such stability now are filled with pain and sadness. Remember to acknowledge the loss as we mentioned above and then consider what a new tradition you could establish.

Starting a new tradition could be one of the best ways to honor the challenges you’ve walked through and create a new opportunity for familiarity to develop in the future.

Change is inevitable but growth is always possible.

We know that the most wonderful time of the year can often feel like the worst …

We don’t want you to feel helpless and without tools to cope with the challenging moments of life. Don’t get overwhelmed trying to implement all these ideas. Go back through the list and pick just one you can try.

Even in the worst moments we are for you to encourage you with the belief that the best is yet to be!